tired

i’ve been picking away
at my brain while
drops of uncertainty
and “what the fuck
do you want to do with
your life?” run from my
fingers to my elbow
where they drop to the
floor. paradoxes are
all my head has ever
been good at coming up
with. big dreams coupled
with “why bother, you
failure?” linger and
plague my free time
where i can’t think
anything but negative
thoughts in the comfort
of my room which ain’t
all that comfortable anyway.
i never liked it here,
not in my room nor inside
my head, but i’ve never
felt more comfortable
than in those two places.